Actually, Holes are very valuable. They house the largest things in existence, regardless of the size of the Hole. Why? The opposite of everything and anything is nothing. Holes are enrichment without working at it. I was told once by nothing, that it wanted to marry a hole. Nothing was discriminated against because holes are very picky about lineage, and they had to create their own holes, giving birth to their own nothingness. Adoption of nothingness was considered wrong, although it happened from time to time. Nothing was broken hearted and was relegated to the Hole Sponsored Orphange and was crying himself in to Somethingness every day. He got smaller and smaller. He was kicked out of the Orphange as a bad example to the rest of the Orphans rather than waiting to be sneaked into clandestine homes of wayward Holes, the pariah he was becoming? A meta-non-physical something. Being Something for the rest of his days all he could sing (somethings have voices), "If loving Holes is wrong, I don't want to be right!" He longed to be nothing again, he loved being huge and valuable, but he was an illigitimate, and the only way he could think of becoming bigger than Nothing was to be elected as the President of the United States, where he discovered was the answer to his sorrow: He became a large Nothing once again and found his type of following: Maga A$$Holes. MaMa!
Haha! I have my moments! You should have told him you were checking for hemorrhoids since he was such a pain in the butt. Did you ever get hit? Building contractors and I don’t get along very well.
Wow, you really went out on a limb on that one. I never considered A$$holes! A stinky, puckered up hole, a hole in the darkness. I have often said, if the world always looks like shit it is a sure sign you have your head up your own ass. Remove head from ass is the solution. The problem for our Maga companions it is is hard to hear good advice with your head still inserted.
Which reminds me of another funny hole joke I used to play on people on constructions sites some times back when I used to be a painting contractor. I would pull out my tape measure and act like I was measuring how tall a person was who was being insulting. Then they would ask me what I was doing and I would say, I am just measuring to see if you are the biggest asshole I have ever met.
This post is NOTHING short of brilliant! Reading this to my husband on the way to Galveston for a getaway week. We laughed the whole time. And remember, nothing from nothing leaves nothing! (Billy Preston)
You are welcome for nothing! Hey, I have been using ChatGPT to blow the story up into a novel. Worked on it all day. It is actually pretty good. We’ll have to move on to custom toothpicks.
Yes Marie I am a wonder. Well, since I am in the studio all day by myself stuff just comes to mind. Maybe I shouldn’t be too close to the keyboard! Then I would forget most stuff and spare everybody the noise.
This is such fun to read. It reminded me of reading Percival Everett’s book Dr. No. It was about nothing. And it made me think about nothing for a long time. In fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about nothing. This is true.
Thank you for making me laugh today; I needed that!
This entire post in genius, from the motto (“If ‘Less is More’, then “Nothing is Everything” — so bloody funny!) to the disclaimers to the testimonials. This is yet another creative jewel in your crown!
Since no one else has managed to commodify Nothing so brilliantly, I say go for it, Cecil! You could earn trillion$, and maybe even a coveted place on the guest list at Jeff Bezos’ next wedding. Just don’t forget us peons who knew you before you were the King of Nothing. 😉
Thanks Sylvia! Actually, That is developing into at least a novella at this point. It is pretty funny and then goes on to the aftermath once he sells the company for a crazy about of money after 5 years and starts the Cornucopia House. More on that later.
This is even better the second time through!
Actually, Holes are very valuable. They house the largest things in existence, regardless of the size of the Hole. Why? The opposite of everything and anything is nothing. Holes are enrichment without working at it. I was told once by nothing, that it wanted to marry a hole. Nothing was discriminated against because holes are very picky about lineage, and they had to create their own holes, giving birth to their own nothingness. Adoption of nothingness was considered wrong, although it happened from time to time. Nothing was broken hearted and was relegated to the Hole Sponsored Orphange and was crying himself in to Somethingness every day. He got smaller and smaller. He was kicked out of the Orphange as a bad example to the rest of the Orphans rather than waiting to be sneaked into clandestine homes of wayward Holes, the pariah he was becoming? A meta-non-physical something. Being Something for the rest of his days all he could sing (somethings have voices), "If loving Holes is wrong, I don't want to be right!" He longed to be nothing again, he loved being huge and valuable, but he was an illigitimate, and the only way he could think of becoming bigger than Nothing was to be elected as the President of the United States, where he discovered was the answer to his sorrow: He became a large Nothing once again and found his type of following: Maga A$$Holes. MaMa!
The Hole world was never the same.
Ok, you can unsubscribe me now. 00!
Haha! I have my moments! You should have told him you were checking for hemorrhoids since he was such a pain in the butt. Did you ever get hit? Building contractors and I don’t get along very well.
Wow, you really went out on a limb on that one. I never considered A$$holes! A stinky, puckered up hole, a hole in the darkness. I have often said, if the world always looks like shit it is a sure sign you have your head up your own ass. Remove head from ass is the solution. The problem for our Maga companions it is is hard to hear good advice with your head still inserted.
Which reminds me of another funny hole joke I used to play on people on constructions sites some times back when I used to be a painting contractor. I would pull out my tape measure and act like I was measuring how tall a person was who was being insulting. Then they would ask me what I was doing and I would say, I am just measuring to see if you are the biggest asshole I have ever met.
i wish i had one person in my life to share this with that would actually take the time to read this…
i think i need new peeps. or maybe i just continue to be the peep that sends meaning-filled nuggets of creative wisdom masquerading as nonsense.
holed up in netherland…
I wish you did too Kimi! That is sad. Yes! You need some new friends! Glad you are here.
This post is NOTHING short of brilliant! Reading this to my husband on the way to Galveston for a getaway week. We laughed the whole time. And remember, nothing from nothing leaves nothing! (Billy Preston)
My nothing allows my shower head to pass through my bathroom wall!
Thanks for nothing!
You are welcome for nothing! Hey, I have been using ChatGPT to blow the story up into a novel. Worked on it all day. It is actually pretty good. We’ll have to move on to custom toothpicks.
Ha,ha, I want a cut of that nothingness!!
Sometimes I wonder about you Cecil…😂…must be all that cutting out that you do!
Yes Marie I am a wonder. Well, since I am in the studio all day by myself stuff just comes to mind. Maybe I shouldn’t be too close to the keyboard! Then I would forget most stuff and spare everybody the noise.
It’s good noise though! 😁
This is such fun to read. It reminded me of reading Percival Everett’s book Dr. No. It was about nothing. And it made me think about nothing for a long time. In fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about nothing. This is true.
I guess you kept thinking about nothing until there was nothing to think about.
I appreciate your holistic POV. And there's no calories!
Thank you for making me laugh today; I needed that!
This entire post in genius, from the motto (“If ‘Less is More’, then “Nothing is Everything” — so bloody funny!) to the disclaimers to the testimonials. This is yet another creative jewel in your crown!
Since no one else has managed to commodify Nothing so brilliantly, I say go for it, Cecil! You could earn trillion$, and maybe even a coveted place on the guest list at Jeff Bezos’ next wedding. Just don’t forget us peons who knew you before you were the King of Nothing. 😉
Thanks Sylvia! Actually, That is developing into at least a novella at this point. It is pretty funny and then goes on to the aftermath once he sells the company for a crazy about of money after 5 years and starts the Cornucopia House. More on that later.
Brilliant response!
HaHaHaHa!