Executive Order No. 002
On the Construction of Unnecessary Walls
By the authority vested in me as Queen of the Realm of Elsewhere, by the Royal Charter and the Laws of Said Realm, it is hereby ordered:
That all projects involving the erection of walls, fences, barriers, or metaphysical fortifications designed to divide peoples, ideas, or the better parts of one’s own conscience are hereby suspended pending poetic review.
That the Ministry of Openings shall oversee the re-imagining of all such barriers into gateways, gardens, or cooperative murals, as budget and imagination allow.
That those who insist upon building walls shall be required to construct, on the opposite side, an equal number of benches for conversation and rest.
That no brick shall be laid upon the soil of fear, nor mortar mixed with malice; any structure so conceived shall crumble by decree of the natural law of empathy.
That the Royal Engineers of Perspective shall undertake the dismantling of invisible walls within the citizenry: prejudices, assumptions, and inherited hostilities, to be processed into compost for the growth of understanding.
That children may continue to build blanket forts indoors without permit, provided they invite at least one foreign dignitary, stuffed animal, or new idea into the structure.
That the motto “Fortify compassion before you fortify borders” be inscribed above all government entrances and insufferably grand porticos.
General Provisions
(a) Nothing in this order shall be construed to impair or otherwise affect:
(i) the authority granted by law to an executive department or agency, or the head thereof; or
(ii) the functions of the Office of Self-Governance (OSG) relating to budgetary, administrative, or legislative proposals.
(b) This order shall be implemented consistent with applicable law and subject to the availability of appropriations.
(c) Contracting outside the Royal Government to circumvent the intent of this order is prohibited.
(d) This order does not prohibit making reallocations or reassignments to meet the highest priority needs, maintain essential services, and protect public peace and safety.
(e) This order shall not adversely impact anything.
(f) This order is not intended to, and does not, create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the Realm of Elsewhere, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person.
(g) If any provision of this order, or the application of any provision to any person or circumstance, is held to be invalid, the remainder of this order and the application of its provisions to any other persons or circumstances shall not be affected thereby.
(h) The costs for publication of this order shall be borne by the Office of Self-Governance (OSG).
HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN OF ELSEWHERE
THE QUEEN’S SUMMER PALACE
November 30, This Year
