Chapter 9: The Fate of the Trumptilla & the Royal Air Force
The Kingdom of Palm Beachonia
Chapter 9: The Fall of the Trumptilla & the Royal Air Force
Circle the Boats
By early November 2025, the Kingdom of Palm Beachonia had settled into a familiar pattern of defiance, inflation, and minor fuel leaks.
King Donald I, now ruling mostly from the floating royal barge USS Loyalty Plus, maintained a loose blockade of himself with a rotating flotilla of yachts, bass boats, and inflatable pontoons known as the Trumptilla.
The Trumptilla was many things—loud, sunscreen-slicked, flag-drenched—but above all, it was mobile.
And that had become a problem.
Reports began trickling in that the Trumptilla was:
Releasing boats into U.S. waters under cover of night,
Importing goods via jet ski convoys, and
Attempting to evade the $10,000 TRiPS fee by claiming diplomatic immunity through monogrammed beach towels that read:
“Kingdom Pass — HONOR THY TIKI BAR.”
That’s when the U.S. Government stepped in with something it hadn’t used in decades:
a floating perimeter.
The Customs Ring
President Jeffries, calm as ever, signed Executive Order 49.5, activating:
“Operation Water Fence”
Within 48 hours, the U.S. Coast Guard—augmented by Homeland Security and a few deeply confused National Park Service vessels—established a wide, slow-moving ring around the Trumptilla just beyond the 12-mile nautical limit.
The Coast Guard’s directive was clear:
Intercept unauthorized vessels.
Enforce the $10,000 border fee.
Prevent unauthorized trade, especially involving illegal fireworks, spray-tan fluid, or Freedom Jerky.
Do not, under any circumstances, engage in debate with onboard radio hosts.
Checkpoint buoys were deployed every two nautical miles, blinking red-white-and-blue.
Floating customs stations—technically retrofitted car ferries from Michigan—were painted navy gray and marked with huge letters:
“U.S. ENTRY INSPECTION — REMOVE FLAGS BEFORE APPROACHING.”
The Standoff Begins
The Trumptilla reacted predictably:
King Donald declared the ring a "Communist Circle of Oppression."
MAGA radio hosts began calling it "the Patriot Lake Siege."
Boats floated just inside the line, playing Toby Keith at top volume and performing synchronized jet ski maneuvers known as “The Swamp Spiral.”
Attempts at communication were patchy. On Day 3, a Coast Guard cutter hailed the USS Golden Liberty:
CG-147: “Vessel, identify yourself and state your cargo.”
Golden Liberty: “We are a nation of free souls bearing only vibes, sausage, and God’s will.”
CG-147: “…Please clarify.”
Golden Liberty: [Plays Kid Rock cover of The Star-Spangled Banner.]
Negotiations ended there.
The Coconut Cannon Incident
Things escalated briefly when a member of the Trumptilla’s so-called "Patriot Deck Defense Division" (actually three shirtless men on a pontoon) launched a coconut painted like a missile toward a Coast Guard buoy.
The coconut fell short, made a plunking noise, and was immediately collected as evidence.
Still, official reports labeled it:
"Symbolic Hostility With Fruit-Based Weapon."
Fox News went live with the headline:
“WAR COCONUT STRIKES FIRST!”
President Jeffries, when asked for comment, blinked slowly and replied:
“We’ll let the coconut speak for itself.”
Trade Smuggling Attempts
Customs officials began spotting increasingly creative smuggling tactics:
Jet skis disguised as floating duck blinds carrying black market sunscreen.
A hot air balloon launched from USS MAGA DAWN attempting to “air drop” lawn chairs into Fort Lauderdale.
Inflatable rafts labeled “Mail-in Freedom,” each carrying a single red Solo cup of imported nacho cheese.
One customs agent remarked:
“It’s like inspecting the world’s most chaotic yacht club full of conspiracy theorists and party planners.”
The Endurance of the Circle
Weeks passed. The ring held.
Some Trumptilla members surrendered, paying the $10,000 TRiPS fee and reentering Florida quietly under assumed names.
Others swore eternal loyalty and joined the Floating Ministry of Truth & Recreation, issuing daily announcements via megaphone and refusing to wear shirts until the tariffs were lifted.
King Donald continued broadcasting daily from the Royal Hot Tub:
“We are not surrounded. We are celebrated.
The circle is not a fence — it’s a halo.
We are chosen. We are floating. We are fine.”
But the boats bobbed slower now.
The gas was running low.
Even the flags had begun to fade under the salt air and sun.
And still, the Coast Guard waited.
Unmoving. Unamused.
Prepared.
Because in America, you can start a kingdom.
But you can’t escape the paperwork.
The Quiet Fall of the Royal Air Force
Over the following weeks, the Air Force faced mounting technical difficulties:
Blimps deflated unexpectedly in the midday heat.
Crop dusters, lacking maintenance crews, began losing parts midair (one pilot famously completed a full flight holding his landing gear in his lap).
Pilots developed a condition known as Flaglash—a repetitive stress injury from excessive patriotic saluting mid-flight.
Still, the Air Force soldiered on, its loyalty unwavering even as physics and reality waged their quiet rebellion.
In the final days of Palm Beachonia, as the Wall crumbled and the monster trucks rusted in the sun, the Freedom Flyers made one last, glorious sortie:
They launched at sunset, a dozen battered vehicles coughing smoke and freedom into the red-orange sky,
trailing broken banners and hopeful anthems played through crackling loudspeakers.
They wobbled, they dipped, they lost altitude.
But they flew.
For a little while longer, they flew.
And when they finally came back to earth—sometimes softly, sometimes abruptly—
they were hailed as heroes not for how high they soared,
but simply because they tried.
Because sometimes in Palm Beachonia, as in all dreams too long deferred,
trying was enough.
The History of the Signature
This Article is a ChatGPT response to the question What is the history of the Signature? based on a this little bit of conversation in the comments of The Signature of a Line The first part is about the signature in general and the second part is about the signature in the arts.
I like the closing statement. 👍 I have to mention a movie I watched once called “Cemetary Man”. Your statement reminded me of it: “But you can’t escape the paperwork”. This cemetary had a problem with zombies coming out of the graves so the caretaker just shot them because it saved on paperwork. I think it was a cult movie.