In my writing course at https://thejohnfox.com/writing-courses/ I signed up for early this year, I am working on a lesson on how to write dialog. Here is a writing challenge experiment of ways to say ‘be quiet’ that I thought you might enjoy.
I am imagining the scene in Forrest Gump where Bubba was explaining all the different ways to make shrimp but applying it to all the ways people say to ‘be quiet’.
Imagine Forrest and Bubba at night in the rain in the jungles of Viet Nam in the 1960’s holding a defencive position.
FORREST (V.O.)
Bubba was my best good friend, and even I have to admit, he could talk a whole lot. Only thing was, Bubba didn’t talk about shrimp no more. He got real interested in how people tell other people to stop talking while thinking on Lieutenant Dan’s orders for us to “stay put and stay quiet.”
BUBBA
Silence is the fruit of the mouth, Forrest. You can zip it, lock it, put a sock in it, button it. There’s, uh, quiet down, pipe down, simmer down, settle down.
(he pauses, adjusting his helmet)
There’s ways you say it when you’re real mad, like “shut your pie hole,” “shut your trap,” “stow it,” “cork it,” or “save your breath.”
(Forrest nods along, cleaning his rifle)
Then you got your animals. You can tell ‘em to “stop yapping”, “stop chirping”, “stop barking”, or “hold their horses”. You got your classic “hush up,” “hush your mouth,” and “not another peep.”
(Bubba leans in closer)
My mama knows a real old one. She says “haud your wheesht.” I don’t know what a wheesht is, Forrest, but you gotta hold it.
Then over in England, they’ll tell you to “wind your neck in.” Or you can just tell somebody to “bite your tongue.” You got the “silent treatment.” You got “mum’s the word.” You got “put a lid on it.”
(he stares off into the rain)
There’s “cool your jets”... “dummy up”... “can it”... “take a chill pill”... “put it on mute”...
(a long beat)
That’s... that’s about it.
FORREST (V.O.)
I thought Bubba was done, but he wasn’t done. He kept right on thinking up ways to make a man stop making noise all through the night.
BUBBA
(leaning against a sandbag he wipes mud off his face)
Then you got your real short ones. “Zip.” “Hush.” “Shh.” “Save it.” “Enough.” “Peace.” “Period.”
(he looks at the trees)
There’s ways doctors and sci-fi people might say it. Like “cease vocalization,” “terminate the audio transmission,” “enter radio silence,” or “kill the feed.”
You can tell somebody to “choke on it.” You can tell ‘em to “glue your lips together.” You can tell ‘em to “go take a long walk off a short pier and don’t make a splash.”
Then you got your gentle ways, like “keep it down,” “whisper please,” “let’s hear some silence,” or “can we have a little decorum?”
(Bubba shifts his weight)
My granddaddy used to say “put your mouth on a diet.” And my uncle said “gimme some peace and quiet before I lose my mind.” You got “put a cork in the bottle,” “turn off the megaphone,” “don’t say another syllable,” and “chuckle up.”
(he sighs deeply)
That’s... that’s really about it now.
FORREST (V.O.)
Just when I thought Bubba had run clean out of things a man could say, he started up again. Only this time, he wasn’t just talking about being quiet. He was talking about that look a person gives you right before they truly snap.
BUBBA
(staring into the dark)
You see, Forrest, sometimes people don’t just want you to hush. They want you to know they are dead serious. They got all kinds of ways to tell you you’re pushin’ your luck.
Like, “You are getting on my last nerve.” That’s a real popular one.
(he adjusts his pack)
Then you got, “I am at the end of my rope,” “I’ve had it up to here,” or “My patience is wearing paper-thin.”
People like to talk about ice, too. They’ll look right at you and say, “You are walking on real thin ice, mister.” Or they’ll say, “That is the last straw,” or “That’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.”
(he pauses, watching a helicopter fly over)
My mama used to get this real low voice, Forrest. She’d say, “Don’t you push it,” “Don’t you start with me,” or “I am not the one to play with today.”
If you’re out in the city, a man might tell you, “You are cruisin’ for a bruisin’.” Or he’ll say, “You’re testing my absolute limits,” “You’re barking up the wrong tree,” or “Don’t make me repeat myself.”
(Bubba sighs, leaning his head back)
Sometimes they tell you about the consequences before they even happen. Like, “This is your final warning,” “Don’t make me come over there,” or “You’re playing with fire, son.”
Then you got your real quiet, scary ones. Just, “Drop it.” Or, “We are done here.”
(a long, heavy beat)
That’s... that’s what they say when they mean business.
FORREST (V.O.)
Well, it turned out Bubba didn’t have to wait long to see what a man looked like when he was dead serious. Because right about then, the bushes parted.
(Lieutenant Dan steps out into the pouring rain. He is completely drenched, holding a map, and his face looks like thunder.)
LIEUTENANT DAN
(voice low, dripping with menace)
Gump. Bubba.
BUBBA
(instantly snaps to attention)
Yes, Lieutenant!
LIEUTENANT DAN
If I hear one more word about pie holes, thin ice, last straws, or what your mamas used to say, I am personally going to use your bootlaces to tie your jaws shut. Do you two copy that?
BUBBA
(gulping)
Yes, sir.
LIEUTENANT DAN
I am at the absolute end of my tether, the Charlie are crawling all over this sector, and your loud mouths are practically lighting a flare for them. So zipped, corked, buttoned, or socked - I don’t care how you do it, but you will shut the hell up. Right now. Not another word!
FORREST
(saluting with his cleaning rod)
Yes, sir, Lieutenant Dan!
(Lieutenant Dan glares at them for one more long, terrifying second, then vanishes back into the jungle foliage.)
FORREST (V.O.)
And you know what? We didn’t say another word the whole rest of the night.