I wonder about those weird times of doubt about myself when I do not feel true to myself. It's when I have a strong/severe emotional reaction where it just doesn't feel right to my very being and I see/feel like a stranger unto myself and don't like who I have become at that moment yet I'm not stopping this behavior when I "should". It's obvious to me that something is Wrong; I don't like it, it feels awful, and it then might bring shame, that feeling of stupidity, embarrassment, and the need to hide. But I can't hide from me. It's there; the damage is done. All I can do is forgive and do better 'next time'. But then.......is this all being "perfectly myself"?
That, too, is part of yourself. Being “perfectly yourself” does not mean being permanently aligned, calm, or admirable. It means being in relationship with the whole of what you are, including the moments that feel off, reactive, or unfamiliar.
Think of it like a piece of work in progress. Some passages feel right, others do not. Some need adjusting, refining, sanding, or even removing. Or think of it like a dance. Sometimes you move, sometimes you pause. Sometimes you lose your footing and have to return to center. None of that means you have failed at being yourself. It means you are practicing.
You can only practice in the moment of engagement. There is no rehearsal space separate from life.
Then comes the standing back, the gentle critique. Not “What is wrong with me?” but “How did that feel?” “What was moving me there?” “Is this how I want to move through the world?” That kind of inquiry is not punishment. It is care.
Beating yourself up does not improve the work. Shame does not refine the gesture. Often the real question is whether we are trying to look a certain way, rather than listening for what feels true. You are at the center of your own field. What you emanate shapes the atmosphere around you. That awareness alone begins to change things.
And it helps to remember this: the Great Harmony does not always appear harmonious. Weather passes through. Squalls happen. They do not require apology. They are part of the living system.
Perfectly yourself does not mean perfected. It means awake, responsive, and willing to keep returning to center.
Thank you for these words. I will take them to heart (and mind) and try to not be so hard on myself. I like the phrase "it's all grist for the mill". I am hopeful to keep on learning and being as mindful as I can be. I so appreciate you, Cecil.
When our offspring do their creativity presentations, they always include - perfection is over rated! Which makes me laugh. I like the idea that we can be our perfect selves. Our authentic selves. As a young person, I somehow learned not to worry about being perfect but rather to do and try stuff. Lucky me.
I wonder about those weird times of doubt about myself when I do not feel true to myself. It's when I have a strong/severe emotional reaction where it just doesn't feel right to my very being and I see/feel like a stranger unto myself and don't like who I have become at that moment yet I'm not stopping this behavior when I "should". It's obvious to me that something is Wrong; I don't like it, it feels awful, and it then might bring shame, that feeling of stupidity, embarrassment, and the need to hide. But I can't hide from me. It's there; the damage is done. All I can do is forgive and do better 'next time'. But then.......is this all being "perfectly myself"?
That, too, is part of yourself. Being “perfectly yourself” does not mean being permanently aligned, calm, or admirable. It means being in relationship with the whole of what you are, including the moments that feel off, reactive, or unfamiliar.
Think of it like a piece of work in progress. Some passages feel right, others do not. Some need adjusting, refining, sanding, or even removing. Or think of it like a dance. Sometimes you move, sometimes you pause. Sometimes you lose your footing and have to return to center. None of that means you have failed at being yourself. It means you are practicing.
You can only practice in the moment of engagement. There is no rehearsal space separate from life.
Then comes the standing back, the gentle critique. Not “What is wrong with me?” but “How did that feel?” “What was moving me there?” “Is this how I want to move through the world?” That kind of inquiry is not punishment. It is care.
Beating yourself up does not improve the work. Shame does not refine the gesture. Often the real question is whether we are trying to look a certain way, rather than listening for what feels true. You are at the center of your own field. What you emanate shapes the atmosphere around you. That awareness alone begins to change things.
And it helps to remember this: the Great Harmony does not always appear harmonious. Weather passes through. Squalls happen. They do not require apology. They are part of the living system.
Perfectly yourself does not mean perfected. It means awake, responsive, and willing to keep returning to center.
Thank you for these words. I will take them to heart (and mind) and try to not be so hard on myself. I like the phrase "it's all grist for the mill". I am hopeful to keep on learning and being as mindful as I can be. I so appreciate you, Cecil.
When our offspring do their creativity presentations, they always include - perfection is over rated! Which makes me laugh. I like the idea that we can be our perfect selves. Our authentic selves. As a young person, I somehow learned not to worry about being perfect but rather to do and try stuff. Lucky me.
Yes! Lucky you. To do and try stuff. Yes indeed.